he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
