You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize