in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
