Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
