i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
