Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize