Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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