"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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