you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
