Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And then he peed in my hair
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