I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
