what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
