he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
