yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
