Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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