well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
