Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
