erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
