After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
