so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize