My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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