Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
