At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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