kristin has been a bad kristin
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize