end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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