my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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