how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
