I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
