I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
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He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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