Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize