I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
