It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize