I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
