I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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