I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
