Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
