he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can't turn off my feet"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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