Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize