So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
