Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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