i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
