At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
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Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
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The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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