Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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