he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
