so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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