And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
