haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
