Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
When did we convert life to cartoon?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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