i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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