I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
