on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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