Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
