All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
