Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize