We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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