why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
