hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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