he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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