My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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