I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
