She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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